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Beijing dating culture

If the proposal was successful, however, the matchmaker (usually a woman) would be rewarded with profuse gifts and feasts to show the two families' gratitude.

Many unmarried young people could not see and were unfamiliar with each other till their wedding day.

Proposing: when a boy's parents intended to make a match, they would invite a matchmaker to propose with them at the girl's home.

It was the custom that the first time matchmaker went as a guest they could not be served tea in order not to 'lighten the marriage'.

Prolific gifts were presented again to the girl's family, symbolizing respect and kindness towards the girl's family as well as the capability of providing a good life for the girl.

Selecting the Wedding Date: the boy's family asked the fortune-teller to choose a date according to the astrological book when it would be proper and propitious to hold the wedding ceremony.

The bride would be led along the red carpet in a festive atmosphere.Birthday Matching: after knowing the girl's full name and birthday, they would ask a fortune teller to predict whether that could match their son's and whether there would be a happy marriage.The Chinese zodiac would be surely taken into consideration.For the male side, it determined the prosperity and even the future fame of their family; while for the female side, it meant that parents lost the chance of seeing their daughter for a long time.Thus to choose an ideal partner was vital for both the individual and the family.A set of marriage custom has been passed down and is still in used today.In feudal society, a marriage would be decided not by a young couple's love, but by their parents' desires.Before the meeting party's arrival, the bride would be helped by a respectable old woman to tie up her hair with colorful cotton threads.She would wear a red skirt as Chinese believed red foreshadowed delight.The three letters were the betrothal letter, the gift letter with a gifts list and the wedding letter used on the day the groom met his bride at her home.Six etiquettes then led to the final wedding ceremony.


  1. This Beijing native became a dating coach upon the request of male friends. Now she runs a high-traffic blog addressing many of her clients' most.

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