Don’t be afraid to reach out – you never know how amazing it can be, Rebecca 2/24/18 – 3/2/18 Some of the most noteworthy events that happened this week in the addiction and mental health community around the world.Loving anything besides a dog or child is hard enough; loving a drug addict is torture. Let me ask you a few very important questions: *When was the last time he went to see a specialist in order to fix the injury? And for 12 years some knucklehead with a prescription pad has been giving him pain pills for his back. He wasn't looking for a high; he needed to feel normal, to not be in constant pain. Being a drug addict's wife means having my quality of life depend on someone else. (And then wondering what the hell took me so long.)Being a drug addict's wife means enduring more pain and lies than any healthy person should ever put up with, and one day realizing that the most loving thing I can do — for myself, my child, and also my husband — is to leave.
The doctor didn't ask if he had a history of addiction in his family or at what age, exactly, he started self-medicating the anxiety that plagued his childhood. His life is chaotic, consuming, no matter how or why it is. Not because I'm in denial, but because I know the full story.
Whether or not she was addicted to drugs before or after she hooked up with this “drug dealer boyfriend” is not the issue. You may be able to get her to break up with this boyfriend, but there will be another boyfriend–and he will be addicted, too. Until we treat the disease, the addiction will remain. She’s not strong enough, she’s not intimidating enough and she’s not fast enough to pull that off. It kills me to tell you this – but like I said, I’m not afraid to hurt your feelings to save your child. It will be something little at first – maybe she finds a new drug dealer and offers sexual favors for drugs. And he knows she can’t stop doing drugs so he will take full advantage of that. Maybe he decides to pimp her out and make a little money off of her. I know I’m using drugs, but I can’t go to treatment. If you’re too drunk or stoned: What are you doing to do when your baby gets a cold and stops breathing in the middle of the night? What about when your baby falls out of his bed and accidentally breaks his arm? You didn’t wake up one day and decide that the best way of parenting was to lock yourself away in the bathroom from you three-year-old and smoke crack.
The good news it I promise to get her far, far away from him. If her boyfriend is a drug dealer she’s probably not only doing drugs but she’s selling drugs. Because when your daughter’s illness tells her she needs more drugs and she can’t pay for them she won’t do what a lot of men drug addicts do. If she refuses, maybe that dope man will come knocking on your door because she owes him money. And it’s the fact that you already knew in your heart that this might happen. I’m going to save her, I’m going to get her far away from her life of addiction and I’m going to put your family back together. Are you going to stumble to the car and drive blindly to the ER? Will you fall down the stairs as you carry him to the car making everything worse?
Because of this experience, I understand forgiveness. As of today, I hope that we make it through, but I just can't be sure.
I know without a shred of doubt that I'll be a better, stronger, smarter woman because I once loved a man who had an addiction, and my life unraveled.