I always thought he might still have feelings for her because when, we went out, he always had plenty of time for her. He once gave me money to put in his bank account and I didn’t even look at his balance. Anyway, while looking for a picture on his laptop I came across pictures of him and her from a previous holiday. I didn’t say anything but something started brewing in me. Now maybe I’m making a big deal out of this which I don’t think I am but to me, if he had time to put a lock on the folder then he had time to delete the folder.
He was married for around 10yrs but was separated a year when we met.
Every time someone makes a mistake, we toss it into the bag and carry it with us forever. In a secure environment, a person is free to open up and be vulnerable.What greater gift can we give someone than to set them free from the weight of their mistakes? In a relationship characterized by fear, just the opposite happens.When we unlock others from a past they cannot correct, we free them to become all they can become, and we free our relationships to become all they can becomes as well. There is a need to build up a wall of defensiveness. There is no way to build a lasting, healthy relationship on a foundation of dishonesty.He said, “trust me you’ve no idea what life was like with her, no way would I go back. I don’t want to get hurt again, it took me nearly 8 years to get over my last partner whom I was deeply in-love with and we have a child together but he has nothing to do with her.Sorry I went on and I hope I get a reply but this is eating me up inside.If you do not protect yourself, after all, you will be violated, robbed of your identity, controlled, or smothered. Honesty must be at the core of a relationship; there is no substitute for it.The dynamics of defensiveness lead to death rather than to life and growth. It is fashionable in our day to paper over unpleasant truth.Recovery without healthy relationships only perpetuates the sinful self-obsession that led to addiction in the first place.In recovery we must learn to shift our focus, thus becoming free to share intimacy with others.It’s just that they no longer love each other in a romantic way.You want reassurances about your relationship but there are none, there never are. Two people reveal everything to one another and hope that their partner will hold and cherish everything they learn about themselves. I am not sure that these pictures mean that you have to feel suspicious.