Desiree agrees, noting the same rules apply to both moms and dads.
“As long as he is thoughtful of his children, takes time to introduce a new person and makes time to talk openly about how his children are feeling, then he will be able to work through it, painful as that could be at times.” One young client recently told her, “It would be OK if my dad dated.
I always tell my kids that they come first, but that doesn’t mean that their demands will trump my personal life. When you’re dating without kids, you only have to worry about liking each other.
When he was at the stage to introduce her to his children, he was concerned about the effect this development might have on them. Because Andrea is a ceramic artist, Frank thinks a clay-working visit with his kids might be a good entrée for introducing his new friend.
“Andrea is more than willing,” he says, “and I thought it would be a good way to ease her into the lives of the children.
He came out without his wallet, he explained as he settled into his chair, in mock tones of lament. He told me he was an inventor, but when I inquired of his creations he grumbled that other people had gotten to all his best ideas first. He told me how much he’d paid for his home, citing a vast number that made my eyes go big. And so went my first foray into the universe of dating as a single parent. For all of the halting, inelegant dating when I was young and single, I could never have predicted how romance-seeking at this stage in life would play out.
But when I dropped him off later (he had no car), he admitted he was a renter, and that he’d paid that much toward his apartment over the years. The rules defining the game were essentially the same, but the players might as well have been parachuted in from a different sport.