It can be fun, terrible, exciting, hard — the adjectives used to describe it are endless.
But this guide was created to help you navigate your way through all those adjectives and shed the only light you’ll ever need on an otherwise confusing, strenuous experience.
“You have no idea how big a problem this is,” said Tristen Ure Hunt, founder of the Mormon Matchmaker, a Salt Lake City dating agency.
Hunt, a 35-year-old who only recently got married herself, told me she has three times more single women than single men in her matchmaking database.
The shadchan’s job has been made exceedingly difficult, she said, by a mysterious increase in the number of unmarried women within the Orthodox community.
When Elefant attended Jewish high school 30 years ago, “there were maybe three girls that didn’t get married by the time they were twenty or twenty-one,” she said.
“My own sister is thirty-seven, educated, accomplished, attractive, and single.The dating game is rigged, but the problem is not strategic â it’s demographic. Multiple studies show that college-educated Americans are increasingly reluctant to marry those lacking a college degree. It’s not that He’s Just Not That Into You—it’s that There Just Aren’t Enough of Him." data-medium-file="https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/81i7k7x3-jl.jpg? quality=85&w=194" data-large-file="https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/81i7k7x3-jl.jpg? quality=85&w=388" class="wp-image-4000670" src="https://timedotcom.files.wordpress.com/2015/08/81i7k7x3-jl.jpg? w=560&quality=85&w=321" alt="" width="321" height="496" Today, mainstream dating guides tell the everything-going-for-her career woman it’s her fault she’s still single—she just needs to play hard to get or follow a few simple rules to snag Mr. This bias is having a devastating impact on the dating market for college-educated women. Lopsided gender ratios don’t just make it statistically harder for college-educated women to find a match. According to sociologists, economists and psychologists who have studied sex ratios throughout history, the culture is less likely to emphasize courtship and monogamy when women are in oversupply.Heterosexual men are more likely to play the field, and heterosexual women must compete for men’s attention.Of course, tales of scarce men and sexual permissiveness in ancient Sparta won’t convince everyone, so I began to explore the demographics of modern religion.On a lark, I emailed my friend Cynthia Bowman,* a devout Mormon who grew up in Salt Lake City and returns there often, and asked her whether Mormon sex ratios are as lopsided as the ARIS study claimed.[Editor’s note: “Cynthia Bowman” is a pseudonym, as are other names denoted with an asterisk.I wanted to show that god-fearing folks steeped in old-fashioned values are just as susceptible to the effects of shifting sex ratios as cosmopolitan, hookup-happy 20-somethings who frequent Upper East Side wine bars. One of my web searches turned up a study from Trinity College’s American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) on the demographics of Mormons.According to the ARIS study, there are now 150 Mormon women for every 100 Mormon men in the state of Utah—a 50 percent oversupply of women.“There might actually be a more promiscuous dating culture than there otherwise would be in the Mormon culture because of this gap.” Months later, still neck-deep in Mormon research, I got lucky again.I received an email from a hedge fund manager who wanted to talk to me about a job.