All of the Nice Guy Points he’s accumulated drain away along with the fantasy that he might wear her down to the point that she would give in and he’s forced to acknowledge the ugly truth that it’s just never going to happen.
At this point, the Nice Guy has two options: continue to hang around that he never stands a chance or to run away.
I always appreciate it when a topic for an article happens to fall into my lap.
It saves me all of the time and anxiety that comes with writing a thrice-weekly column that usually culminates with the 3 AM insomnia-inducing panic that leads to my brain screaming “I HAVE RUN OUT OF IDEAS!
When I agreed to go down the rabbit hole, I did so with blind, wish-for-the-best optimism, the kind I assume most people who walk down the aisle embrace.
I thought, “Maybe this can work.” On a selfish level, I wasn’t ready to lose him and knew that I would if I said no.
The issue of the “Nice Guy” is one that is close to my cold, mercenary heart if only because I’ve spent so much time in that mindset and every “I’ve been friendzoned” rant brings familiar echoes of ones that I wrote myself and broadcast to the uncaring world wide web – ones that fortunately have been lost to the universe, never to be seen againprinted the t-shirt (another college experiment that has been destroyed) I feel the need to educate my Nice Guy brethren as to just what the big fucking problem is with the Nice Guy world view and just Let’s start with the most obvious issue here: the supposed “Nice Guy” is a liar from start to finish.He was the gregarious, frat boy who skirted through college on a fluff major (aka marketing) and I was the anal-retentive, Type-A overachiever who would not help him during training, even though he was my partner.Everything changed once I realized that training had absolutely no bearing on my career and he was an amusement ride of fun. That was inevitable since we were housemates and although we didn’t have intercourse while living under the same roof, I slept in his bed on a regular basis.We had some of the most amazing, wake-up-the-neighbors, call-the-cops sex.We literally learned how to be great sexual partners, because we had an incredible amount of trust between us.Small wonder most Nice Guys choose to run away and complain about it on their social networks instead.The inevitable end result of the “Nice Guy”‘s relationship with his supposed friend is tragedy – at least as far as the Nice Guy is concerned.Enabling a person to be a stand-in in your life is a truly shitty, selfish thing to do. He had candles and flowers and music and I before he could even ask, I told him not to, because he wouldn’t like the answer.But I loved him (even though true love is a completely unselfish act) and wanted him in my life and so it continued until he told me he thought was should date and pursue a relationship – I remember every detail of the evening that he brought this up and I have a shoddy, borderline Alzheimer-like memory. Telling someone you love them and want to be with them when you’re not sure if the person feels the same is one of toughest things to do in life. It’s also tough to hear no, but two weeks later he asked again, and this time I said okay.The Nice Guy spends his time trying to be as close to his designated crush as possible – after all, the more time he gets to spend with her, the more opportunities she gets to recognize his inner stud-muffin.He goes out of his way to do nice things for his “friend”, earns her trust and her confidence, provides a shoulder to cry on and an ear to listen with… which is all well and good if he were being a genuine friend to her. All of this attention is done, with the desire to support his friend but to ingratiate her to him.