Why can’t I apply this “equal investment” attitude to the getting of dates and not just the paying for dates?
***** It’s a little too far past January 1st to call this a New Year’s Resolution, but I’ve decided to make a change.
But every day, when I log into the dating site of my choice, I play the passive role, the receiver of attention, the awaiter of messages.
I go to my inbox and see who wants to talk to me and then I choose to whom I’ll respond.
With those, you will send a few messages back and forth before he invites you for a drink.
You will march home to an empty inbox and the desire to spend another hour browsing and writing will start to fade.There is plenty of privilege to go around, and while I spend a lot of time thinking about the big things I’m afforded due to my lucky draw, the little things I get are worth considering too.I hypothesize that it will feel shitty to spend time on a nice note and to be ignored, but I don’t know, because I haven’t really tried.***** You might think online dating would create some much-needed “fairness” between the sexes.In the realm of hetero courtship, tradition still reigns supreme.Maybe instead we can learn to treat each other as equal players of a very silly game that we all secretly take quite seriously. But it seems quite clear to me that we’re not there yet. I’m a feminist, sex-positive 21st century lady whose photos include me posing in a Rosie the Riveter Halloween costume.I write about gender on the Internet for crying out loud!I think it’s about time I try to understand my digital privilege. Some dating sites boast a female-unfriendly guy/gal ratio.I do not want to be a passive participant in my romantic life.I do not want my dating choices to be limited to the guys who are still optimistic enough to send a message; I might miss some good ones who are just tired of being ignored and I can’t blame them. I asked above why I should bother to get on the rollercoaster ride of being the asker instead of the askee, and I think the reason it’s worth trying is the reason it’s worth trying many things that make you uncomfortable; empathy.