So if you currently have a friend (or two) with benefits, or consider turning a friend (or two) into friends with benefits, don’t worry too much about the friendship: If your non-sexual relationship is strong to begin with, adding a sexual component to the mix is unlikely to change that. You seem to have a poor understanding of sex, STDs, and a normal sex life.And if your friendship cannot survive some physical intimacy that ends eventually, chances are, it wasn't a friendship worth keeping anyway. doi:10.1007/s10508-013-0189-7 Owen, J., Fincham, F. When I was in college and having a few sexual partners a year, everyone was getting tested regularly during their physicals and using condoms, the risk of STD transmission was very minor.Just because things did not pan out romantic wise - why in the world would I throw the baby out with the bath water and cut high quality people out of my life?well, drawing examples from individual experiences might not necessarily negate the potential effects FWBs could have on future partners. Thinking I was her, as I was answering her text messages (at her request), I invited him over.We are 2 years married and I fear some of these guys are laughing at me.
But FWBs are not quite romantic either—they lack the explicit commitment to being a couple and building a future together, and also the expectation of sexual monogamy inherent in most serious relationships.Not knowing if I am shaking the hand of one of her former lovers makes me feel like a damn fool sometimes.Unfortunately, that has also caused me to view her in a less favorable light.Friends-with-benefits relationships (FWBs) are quite popular among U. college students—about 60% report at least one FWB at some point in their life. On the spectrum of completely casual (think one-night stand with a total stranger) to completely romantic (think sex with a spouse of several years), FWBs occupy a curious middle position.They are not quite casual—the partner is fairly well known (sometimes for years), you have a shared history of non-sexual interactions, and there is some level of emotional closeness and intimacy.How different is that from having ex-boyfriends and ex-girlfriends in you friend group? And in my friend groups, which is pretty large, there are lots of exes, some who are now dating or married to other friends.I don't see that "chilling effect" you mention at all, do you have some statistical evidence to back it up?For example, the presence of 'former' casual sex partners (who can never really be considered 'former,' as the casual nature of the interaction implies that it could recur at any time, given changed circumstances or contexts of convenience) can have a chilling effect on the attitudes and behavior of new, more 'serious' romantic interests, or create unrealistic expectations for behavior in future partners, preventing the FWBs from making necessary progress in their own emotional and romantic maturity and lowering their chances of future success.Likewise, the social identity of FWBs among their mutual friends (who are likely to become mutual friends of future romantic partners) is of course altered in ways that will affect new relationships going forward, both in terms of those friends' perceptions and the shared perceptions those friends transmit to new entrants into the social group.It seems more what you are touching on is there could be jealousy issues or mutual friends may pass judgement, and guess what, that happens in every social group regardless of whom has slept with whom. Because they are decent, hardworking, responsible people whom I value and respect.Part of becoming an adult is not worrying about what your friends think and finding friends that love you for who you are with all of your baggage, instead of constantly judging you. I have remained friends with several of my past boyfriends. We are all in our 50's and 60's now (and yes, I am married and these romances turned friends go back years before I met my current husband and I don't hide them from my husband).