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Poly, for her, is the only lifestyle possible, due to the fact that she falls in love with approximately everyone she meets and nearly everyone reciprocates.As a result, she’s a whiz at scheduling dates, popping open her Google Calendar (or her trusty and completely incomprehensible paper planner) to inform you of the next three times she’s available, at least one of them more than a week out.At least, you’re pretty sure one of them is, and you’re not at all sure whether the other one’s enthusiasm is the world’s best jealousy management, an equal desire to participate, or somewhere in-between.“He’s fantastic in bed,” one of them will say with an entreating look, and you’ll suddenly wonder whether you’re at a bar or have somehow wound up at a dimly-lit livestock auction.Ten minutes later, a series of replies stream in, and she quickly checks each one before finally relaxing, clearly relieved, and goes back to enjoying the evening.This will continue with each successive milestone in your relationship, as both of you navigate a labyrinthine set of agreements designed, presumably, to keep everyone comfortable.Having successfully passed on the cis vaccine to the next unwitting cohort, she’ll return again to the dating realm — heart heavy, but with important work to do.

Ultimately, your relationship will proceed in one of two directions: either you’ll manage to gel with her undiagnosed ADHD and become one of the partners she somehow manages to regularly make time for, or the strange internal algorithm she uses to allocate attention, obtuse even to her, will flag you as no longer interesting; at which point, her text responses will become slowly spaced further and further apart, and her schedule harder and harder to get on, until she’s gently — she thinks — faded from your life.

The Relationship, and Actual, Anarchist“I just think”, they’ll tell you, over Fair Trade coffee, on your first date, which may or may not but will definitely involve bicycles, “that ownership of a person’s heart is about as inherently unjust as the ownership of any property whatsoever.” When they pay for said coffee, it will be with the slightly pained look of someone contributing to the downfall of civilization.

You’ll want to be dismissive of them and their worldview, but the fact that they know more about the government’s role in overseas conflict than your political science thesis advisor and are the only person in your memory who’s ever asked before touching you makes it hard to.

But if you keep clicking ‘Going’ on Meetup, you just might make it into that circle — and find out what sex is like with 40 years of practice behind it.

The Manic Poly Dream Girlfriend She has a membership at the local circus gym, a corgi named Bowser, a half-sleeve she got while living in Berlin, and roller derby scars.


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