Every Black and Asian man who grew up on this planet grew up surrounded by positive images of whiteness and white men.
No matter how you slice it, it’s racist.equally, especially in this country.To be clear, you’re allowed to describe the kind of guy you’re looking for and the things that turn you on but specifying the race of your desired partner is a line that is not to be crossed. I should point out that I’ve had this conversation with more than a couple of white gays in person and here is where the debate usually begins, so I’m going to assume that you’re rolling your eyes at me right about now.That’s fine and to make you feel more heard I’ll even repeat the most common point used to counter my argument ― “but people like what they like.I’ll put aside the fact that broadcasting your distaste for an entire race, or multiple races, in the year 2017 is really dumb in addition to being racist as fuck, and just challenge the reasoning here head on.Yes, people like what they like but sometimes the things people like are racist, like lawn jockeys or the current president of the United States.Shocked, Edwards tried to push back on the man’s claim that he wasn’t being racist but he ran up against the same obstacle that many gay men of color face in the world of online dating.“It’s just a preference,” he was told. If you’re a gay man, phrases like “no blacks” and “no Asians” aren’t just words that you’d find on old signs in a civil rights museum, they are an unavoidable and current feature of your online dating experience.On gay dating apps like Grindr and Scruff, some men post blunt and often offensive disclaimers on their profiles such as “no oldies,” “no fems,” and “no fatties.” Among the most ubiquitous are racial disclaimers like “no blacks” and “no Asians,” which are most frequently posted by white men but, as Edwards’s case proves, not always.I know this is a lot to digest so I’ll just boil it down to this: if your preference for a partner supports an existing racial hierarchy which marginalizes minorities, then your preferences are racist. If you’re making of your dating decisions with a person’s race in mind, that’s racist.And yes, that includes you rice queens and chocolate chasers too. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying you have to find all Black and Asian men attractive. What I’m saying is that men of color are still men, and as such, we want the people making decisions about our desirability to make them based on who and what we are and that doesn’t begin and end with a few layers of melanin.“Fine, I’m a horrible racist asshole. I can’t re-program myself to find men of color more attractive,” some of you might be saying. As you know, the brain is the largest sexual organ in your body and it’s capable of amazing growth.Sometimes, men even use foods as metaphors for entire ethnic groups: “No rice” to deter Asian men, “no spice” to keep the Latinos away, and “no curry” to tell Indians they don’t have a shot. ” Others have argued that it is impossible to separate the language of so-called sexual racism from racism in other spheres of life.Those who deploy these disclaimers defend themselves from accusations of “racism” by claiming that they merely have “preferences” for certain races over others. There is a reason, they insist, that men of color are most often pushed to the sexual wayside. Debates around “sexual racism,” as researchers have labeled it, are particularly heated within the gay community, although it is certainly a source of controversy in heterosexual circles as well.