So you just started talking to this person you met online and things are going fine. You text the person that you had a nice time and you get…RADIO SILENCE.My friend, it looks like your date has ghosted on you.Dating is hard enough as it is without the ghosting, but surely that exacerbates it. I do think, however, that ghosting is a stand-in for uncertainty.There are a plethora of perceived options due to dating apps, and decorum has gone out the window.I ghost all the time but I feel like guys don’t get the hint and they just keep trying even harder.How many ‘LOLs’ can I text before you get the hint I’m not interested?One guy went so far as to text me after a first date: ‘Don’t disappear on me.'” -Shane, 28 “This person I grew really close to over the last couple months went from calling and texting all the time to not even responding to me. So, there’s that.” -Shannon, 30 “I feel cowardly and insecure whenever I ghost on someone.
At first, I got really prideful about it and blocked his number.
” -Mary, 29 “I’ve been ghosted pretty recently so the feelings of hurt are still somewhat visceral and raw. Not only because someone you shared so much (emotional, physical, social) intimacy with is suddenly gone without warning, but also because your mind goes in a million directions — What went wrong? And more importantly, Does this person care so little about our relationship (romantic or not) that I don’t even deserve an explanation as to why we will never see nor speak to each other ever again? Because I know how it feels to be on the other end of this, I generally try to be communicative and accountable with my interactions with other people. Yes, accountability in interpersonal relationships. But also no, I don’t think I owe *persistent* people who I barely know the energy that it takes to constantly tell them no and why I’m saying no.
Don’t have time for that.” -Quyên, 24 “Ghosting is the new ‘Take the hint…’ only more disorienting, because there are no hints at all.
The ghoster essentially says, ‘I’m not accountable for maintaining this interaction or giving it closure,’ and well, shoot, maybe the ghoster isn’t.
Most people assume that abrupt ends in communication are just incidental pitfalls to dating.