My proof is not irrefutable but is very strong circumstantial evidence, and it was made that much stronger by her behavior since I confronted her.I never intended to tell my father or shame her to the whole family (which is what she deserves, but it is not my place) but I guess, since she was scared that I would tell on her, she decided to get out ahead of me and tell her own version of reality to everyone, which includes painting me as a mentally deranged person who can’t deal with issues from her past and who hates her sister (my sister born of mom’s affair over 15 years ago). I did not expect systematic alienation from the extended family, to whom she has always worked so hard to maintain appearances, because I never thought she would tell them what I said to her! I only even confronted her, clearly foolishly, because I wanted to protect my father and because I thought, if she knew I was on to her, maybe she would stop.Now I am married, have young child, and am pregnant with my second.I recently (within the past month) discovered that my mother is again cheating on my father.
One of her worst offenses, in my eyes, has been her ability to falsely assert her love and pride over her children whenever she is presenting herself to someone outside of the immediate family, since it is in such a stark contrast from how she actually behaves.
Eventually things ended with the guy that she was with (she caught him cheating! He is kind of a saint, but he has a blind spot where she is concerned, and, after we moved back in, he looked the other way as far as her behavior is concerned.
She stopped going out as much but instead had her bar friends over at all times of the day and night to drink, and she never felt particularly compelled to make sure her children were adequately dressed or fed for school in the morning or even sent to school at all.
However, for as long as I am not talking to my mother, she will not allow much interaction between the people in her household and the people in mine. If not, what do I say to make up with the world’s most selfish person?
The idea sickens me, frankly, because if I decide to be the bigger person and apologize for the sake of peace, this is just another battle she wins by being an awful person.