Clinical studies show that having an imaginary conversation with your ex can also help you move through the pain more rapidly.
Talk to a pillow or an empty chair and say all the things you need to vent; express any incomplete feelings you’re left with after the relationship ended.
“That may sound a little ‘woo-woo,’ but I mean that you should simply sit with your sorrow, invite it in and experience it.” Where does it live in your body? Embrace the pain rather than treating it like the enemy.
Piver recommends accepting your feelings without trying to shove them away or mask them with other activities — and this is her critical piece of advice: let yourself simply without making sweeping assumptions about what those feelings mean or being overly self-critical.
Apparently, though, that’s somewhat unusual, according to the scores of studies that show your mental and physical health are typically compromised during a breakup.
Women, for instance, report feeling lethargic, sleeping and eating poorly, being depressed and generally unwell after a romantic split.
If you’re freshly heartbroken, we’ve prescribed six steps to take that will protect your health during this difficult time: (Free Press, 2011). It’s painful, no question, but all your efforts to push it away just make it stronger.
A rebound relationship can present itself in a variety of ways, whether it’s rekindling an old friendship or beginning a new one — even spending more time with someone you know isn’t looking for anything serious can help you feel desirable again and heal your sense of loss and grief.
It’s not right for everyone, but if you think it could help you feel better, then go for it!
Scientists also note that feeling like you’re still in love might not completely end when the relationship does, so don’t beat yourself up if you find yourself longing for your ex.
Just remember to tell it to your pillow instead of picking up the phone!