Sadly, Tim and Jess's story is all too familiar.
Many unmarried Christian couples struggle with sexual sin.
Normally, premarital sexual activity is like gas on fire. There's still passion, and there's still intense feelings and emotions—but sex in marriage is based primarily on the hot coals of trust, devotion, and sacrifice (1 Cor. Couples who built their sexual expectations on passion provided by the forbidden fruit are often disappointed and confused when sex is different in marriage. Say “no” to sin's promises by faith in God's. While both persons in the relationship are responsible before God, the man must set the pace for purity. The apostle John wrote, “My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin. Look to your Advocate, confess your sin deeply, and repent. God is a merciful God who delights in restoring what sin seeks to destroy (Joel -27).
Passion is high, feelings are intense, and the drive to go further is fueled by the knowledge you shouldn't (Rom. My wife and I laughed at this idea when our premarital counselor shared it with us. But almost six years and three kids later, he was right. Renew your mind with God's Word and keep waiting in faith. Too often ladies are forced to draw the lines and to say “no.” That's cowardly and wrong. But if anybody does sin, we have one who speaks to the Father in our defense—Jesus Christ, the Righteous One” (1 John 2:1-2). He will not, however, bless ongoing disobedience and presumption on his grace.
And why is chastity so "dear to heaven," so important to God's vision of discipleship and faithful Christian living?
Satan wants us to think we won't take our sin to the next level. Sin is like an undercurrent in the ocean—if you play in it, you'll be overpowered and swept away into certain destruction.
He wants us to think we're stronger than we really are. This is a powerful trick since it simultaneously plays on both our pride and also our well-intended desire to honor God. One of the ways Satan works this angle is by tempting you to think purity is a not-to-be-crossed line rather than a posture of the heart.
There's a world of difference between premarital sex and sex within marriage.
One reason is that the forbidden fruit of lust portrays sex before marriage as something it isn't always in marriage. And unmarried believers wait for the blessings of marriage. Sexual sin doesn't need to be dagger in the heart of your courting relationship, engagement, or marriage.