“We all knew there was an expiration date,” he adds. The first step is to consider one’s own attitude, especially when it’s easier to claim you’re too busy to date.
“If you’re that busy, you’re probably too busy anyway,” says Mott. And once you are willing, then, in my experience, you’re going to meet them in real life.” Getting Out There Pacifica mom Kim Gitnick wasn’t looking to date when she started a “mini relationship” with a newly divorced friend.
Still others thirst for love, romance and companionship, only to be thwarted in their attempts because they feel out of practice, believe that being a single parent holds a stigma or are turned off by the quirks of finding love online.
“I would really like to be in a relationship with someone I trust, but getting there is so insane,” says Scott, who pens the blog singleparentcompany.
“I’ve had virtually no success with them,” he says of his 10 years’ experience.
“My advice is to be willing and wanting to meet people and you’ll find that you meet them in real life.” Mott takes the initiative to be social and encourages his married friends to invite him to parties – something they tend to overlook because of his single status.
But more than anything, on your dinner date, can you manage to not pass out in your rigatoni from sheer exhaustion?
No one doubts that being a single parent is a tough job.
Either way, family counselors stress the importance of listening to what a child says, despite a parent’s urge to explain – perhaps ad nauseam – why they feel the need to date. You know the empathy is really working when your kid kind of deflates a little bit and they can relax,” says Dr. Kamore Stager, a family psychologist with East Bay Family Therapy.“Before I had my son I liked dating, but now it’s hard work,” says San Francisco single mom Eleanor Scott, who has a 5-year-old son. Census report, there are close to 200,000 single parents in the Bay Area.“As a single parent, you can’t be spontaneous anymore, which is a really important thing for dating.” Dating Frustrations Scott is not alone. More than three-quarters of these are women who hold primary custody of their children.Do you remember what dating was like before you had kids?Perhaps you prepared for hours, trying on a dozen outfits, flat-ironing your hair to perfection and engaging in imaginary conversations with the person who could possibly turn out to be “the one.” Now imagine being a single parent on a date. Is this guy really worth the an hour in babysitter fees?“Plus, it’s also something to keep your mind from spinning out.” Having an online profile can provide a nice ego boost as well, especially when she gets favorable compliments from viewers.But that doesn’t mean dating online isn’t without its pitfalls, especially when your “paper impression” of a person doesn’t live up to the real thing.That kind of positive reaction has encouraged me.” Gitnick has managed to avoid using the Internet to find dates.But for many single parents, it is a natural first step back into the dating world.Gitnick soon started to date people she didn’t know. Most of the men Gitnick has dated didn’t have children of their own, which initially made her feel awkward, not knowing when she should bring it up.Luckily, she had a wide circle of friends without children who were willing to babysit while she went out on dates with people to whom they had introduced her. Experience eventually taught her to bring it up on the first date, if not before.