It is very difficult for a non-abusive person to understand how someone they love, and who claims to love them, could harm or mistreat them.
To cope, they detach from their pain or terror by subconsciously beginning to see things from the abusive partner’s view.
If it would get to a point where my boss would straight up ask me what’s going on, I strongly feel that I should not lie and tell him the truth about the situation.
But that would unfortunately turn this into an HR situation.
” It can feel strange, confusing and even wrong to love someone who has chosen to be abusive.
While these feelings can be difficult to understand, they aren’t strange and they aren’t wrong.
This process can intensify when an abusive partner uses , and certain aspects of the victim’s own personality and perspective fade over time.
By doing this, the victim learns how to “appease” the abusive partner, which may temporarily keep them from being hurt.
You might want to believe your partner when they say that things will change and get better because you love them, and they say they love you.
We both want to attempt to navigate this without having to directly notify our boss and HR of the relationship, since that would severely impact both of us, which we both say we’d like to avoid.
One of her points is that it could impact me the worst because I’d be easier to remove from the team if they wanted to.
It’s ok to feel that love and want to believe your partner.
About a year ago, I developed a relationship with a coworker (I know, not smart! I never directly reported to her, but we are on the same team, and she is at a higher-level. This weekend, I ended the relationship for various reasons.